Pain Demands To Be Felt – John Green,
The Fault In Our Stars
Pain demands
to be felt. It has a very unfathomable meaning to each and everyone of us, I
believe. It can contain with different
explanation or interpretation as different people have a different perspectives.
One thing for sure, it is enough to break our heart into pieces no matter what is
the incident.
As for me, I
have so much LOVE for everything. Be it living and non-living things, it makes
no difference to me. It’s really hard to love someone/something without having
a little bit of pain inside you. The ‘What Ifs’ kept on interfering my mind. When
it comes to humans and animals, it is so scary to have the thoughts that one
fine day they are going to leave you. Without saying goodbye or without any
signs is the most heart-wrenching pain. Or, can be, the signs that they are
leaving are not visible enough for me to realize. Same goes with objects/things
that you really love suddenly broke or no longer can be used. You will miss how
it used to run before and forever want to keep it with you. All these things
make you realized that, it is really a vital reminder for all of us to treasure
everything’s in our lives and how crucial it is to unqualifiedly love one
another. Because things are never going to be the same again once it’s gone. At
the end of the day, you can only hold onto the memories and continue living
your life.
“Why am I, all
of a sudden, writing this entire thing?”
I actually
lost my dog two days ago because she didn’t able to deliver her babies. Yes, it’s
a ‘she’, my dog. She got hit by a car back in 2013 if I’m not mistaken. That is
also the time when I’m on my second semester of doing Pre-U and living away
from home. So, one day in the evening, I got a text from my mom telling me that
our dog has been hit by a car. She didn’t die for sure but was in a very
critical and weak condition. I was shocked and really sad. Like I said, I have
so much love for everything. So, I asked my mom to send a picture of her and my
mom did. I am so dumbstruck and I can felt my tears on my cheeks right after I’ve
seen her pictures. I thought she won’t be able to recover again but amazingly
as time passes by, she managed to pull through although not as healthy as she was
before. She loses her weight a lot, had a permanent injury in her right leg and
possibly injuries in some of her organs too. I mean, tell me, how can it be
possible for a dog that has been hit by a car completely being healthy again?
Me and my
dad noticed that there were few times where she got pregnant but always faces miscarriages
too. I could totally understand on what is the reason. And obviously I am
upset. Who doesn’t? On her last few days, my heart aches so much seeing her
condition being so weak and forcing her body by dragging it to eat. Even with
that condition, she eats a lot too. She is such a fighter.
She is a
very nice dog and she has that innocent looks most of the time. When it’s meal
time, she really eats a lot and impatiently finishes everything. Now that she’s
gone, I can say that it feels weirdly sad seeing there’s an empty spot where
she used to have her meals. Because whenever my dad feed our dogs, I was there
too, all the time actually, watching if each of them fairly gets their food. Everything
seems to feel different when you are no longer seeing a face that you are used
to. She’ll never going to be here anymore, no matter how many times I call her
name. I will never see her running around in front of the house anymore. BUT,
on the bright side, I am beyond glad that she has gone to a better place. Because
I know that she has endured the pain for so long. I wouldn’t want to see her
suffered any longer. I believe that God knows the best for everyone and we need
to trust that HIS plans are greater than any other things in this world.
It is an
eternal goodnight to my dog. I’ll be missing her, dead sure. Rest well and have
fun in Heaven!
Now it’s
time for me to pick up these broken pieces of my heart. *Wiping a sea of tears*
Till we meet
again, my love.
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